I have a confession, dear friends and readers: I have not been entirely truthful with you for the past several months. I have been living a blogosphere lie, and I owe it to you to come clean.
I’m sure that most of you have already figured out that I take some liberties with the Haybag’s comments. It’s all in the name of shits and giggles, though, and it’s usually based on something she actually said. For the past several months, however, I have been fabricating her comments almost entirely. I wouldn’t say I have been lying. I think it’s better characterized as being a willing participant in a campaign of misinformation.
See, the Haybag hasn’t really been trying most beers. In fact, I don’t even think she likes beer now…because the Haybag is pregnant. Actually, it’s more appropriate these days to say WE’RE pregnant; but that would be fucked up…physiologically-speaking and because for the past several months I’ve picked up the Haybag’s slack and been drinking for two.
Now, the only thing that remains is an appropriate act of contrition for my misdeeds. So, to make it up to you and in honor of beerbecue’s upcoming first anniversary, I am going to hold a contest. The winner gets to name our kid. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking: How could I let somebody name my kid in a blog contest if they don’t know the gender? It’s cool. We’ll find out this Friday. So you’ll know beforehand.*
Soooo, I’ve fallen a little behind lately, but I’ve got some reviews and other fun stuff in the pipeline. In fact, after a trip to Cleveland this weekend, I hope to be able to report back on Fat Head’s Head Hunter IPA.
Offensive…perhaps.
*Contest subject to approval by the Haybag. I haven’t asked her yet. You know, it’s always better to ask forgiveness than permission with stuff like this.
I was gonna say…what would the Haybag think about name submissions like Corona and Bud? (If she knees you hard enough in the nuts you can argue your way out of a future vasectomy.)
Major congrats!!!
I have to say, you must have captured the spirit of the Haybag, because her comments rock. It’s been hard not to develop crush on her, actually. Well done.
I would like to think I have captured her essence. Plus, she usually proofreads, and she will cry foul if it doesn’t sound enough like her.
Also, you’ll be relieved to know that the hobo comment about the grapefruit beer was actually her own.
Thanks!
I would like to think I have captured her essence. Plus, she usually proofreads, and she will cry foul if it doesn’t sound enough like her.
Also, you’ll be relieved to know that the hobo comment about the grapefruit beer was actually her own.
The Haybag had me at “hobo.”
Congratulations! My votes: if it’s a girl, “Sparkle” and if it’s a boy, “Seven”. You’re welcome.
Those are good, but the girl name is fatally flawed. It doesn’t provide for an “i” that can be dotted with a heart when she becomes a stripper because I solicited her name on a beer blog.
And here I thought your wife had a great sense of humor. I mean, I’m sure she does; it’s just that it really seemed to jive with yours.
Oh and a big congratulations!
Thanks! She’s pretty funny. But I have to say, my sense of humor has been forged in the fire of her eye rolls.
Congrats on the news
Thanks!
I’m thinking “Suds” would be a name that could work for both a boy or a girl.
Congrats and have a great time on Cleveland this weekend.
Very versatile. Thanks. I’m going to the Browns-Bills game tomorrow with some college buddies. My money is on the Bills sucking less.
Could be a riveting game or a suckfest. Enjoy!
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