The Session #59: The Perfect Bourbon

This is beerbecue’s first crack at The Session, which for January is hosted by Mario at Brewed for Thought. This month’s topic is: I almost always drink beer, but when I don’t…

I drink the perfect bourbon drink. To make a Basin Street you’ll need the following:

  • 2 Parts Bourbon
  • 1 Part Cointreau
  • 1 Part Lemon Juice
  • A Shaker; Ice; and a Cocktail Glass

We here at beerbecue are not just beer-swilling barbarians. The Haybag and I are sophisticated individuals, with a highly-refined worldview. Thus, we seek the best of everything regardless of origin. And Cointreau is at its best immediately after distillation. So, for the perfect Basin Street, ideally one would take a trip to the Cointreau distillery, Carre Cointreau, in the Loire Valley of France.

Midway through the distillery tour, you’ll need a hysteria-inducing distraction. Announcing a German invasion is a little cliché; so try proclaiming that down the street they are handing out free Chenin Blanc and cigarettes. While every French man, woman, and child within earshot is down the street frantically looking for their free wine and smokes, take a couple ounces off the end of the distillery line. Don’t be greedy. You probably only paid 10 euros for the tour, and you’ll get a cocktail at the end of the tour anyway.

Of course, in a pinch, the Cointreau in your liquor cabinet will do. You know…the bottle with the cap that is crystallized shut. Note: If it’s not crystallized shut, then you’ll likely need a new one, as this probably means your teenager has replaced the contents with water.

For the perfect lemon, go to Sicily in November. In the morning, as the sun begins its warm embrace, just before the dew has vanished, find a terraced lemon grove near the base of Mt. Etna. Carefully pluck a plump lemon that appears to be only moments away from dropping to the earth from its own ripe weight. Then, get the hell out of there before the sun begins its warm embrace of the garbage bags neglected by the striking Sicilian sanitation workers.

Of course, in a pinch, you can scale your neighbor’s fence after dark and thug one from his lemon tree. Watch out for dog crap. And no, I am not going to stoop to stereotyping the French and Italians with a sophomoric dog-poop-on-the-sidewalk joke. A little maturity, please.

Then, the most important step for the perfect bourbon drink: Get out a whiskey glass, pour the bourbon into the glass, and drink it (ice and splash of water optional). What? Did you think I was going to fuck-up a perfectly good bourbon?

Bourbon – Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a damn sight more sincere.

The Haybag: Excuse me? And might I point out, dear, that you seem to be more than willing to fuck-up a perfectly good beer with bourbon.


10 thoughts on “The Session #59: The Perfect Bourbon

  1. While you have described most of the components of this cocktail, you have left out the star. What about the bourbon?

    • Nice handle, Bob. I would say Blanton’s is my favorite, although I would never muck that up in a Basin Street…and I can only get that occasionally and when not accompanied by the Haybag at the liquor store ($$$$). Also, there is a nearly drained bottle of Woodford Reserve on the cabinet that needs replacing. And despite my post’s intimation that I would never muck-up a bourbon in a mixed drink, I have actually been known to drink these sweet and sour beauties with Woodford Reserve or Maker’s Mark or Knob Creek.

    • Thanks! Periodically, I just decide that I feel like bourbon. And sometimes, I feel that beer tastes even better after a couple nights occupied with something else.

      Well-played barmy pun, by the way.

  2. Great read. I was happy to see the unmolested bourbon at the end. Although, if you really managed to pull off the lemon and the Cointreau that would be one hell of a cocktail!

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