Avery India Pale Ale: Quark soup, the Blue Flame Club, and Mario Mendoza

Next up, Avery India Pale Ale:

Space, physics, and booze are a little more Liquorstore Bear’s bailiwick, like perhaps in one of his paranoid rants about Scary Bear’s apocalyptic predictions. However, hadron collider and particle physics tomfoolery are not without precedent here. Soooo….

Recently, Brookhaven National Laboratory’s Relativistic Heavy Hadron Collider created “quark soup”, a near-frictionless plasma soup of quarks and gluons that is believed to have existed for ten-millionths of a second immediately after the universe’s birth. And apparently, this soup only exists at least 4 trillion degrees Celsius.

Hmm, for fahrenheit, multiply by 1.8, then add 32. Holy shit! That IS hot!

That’s some serious heat. To put that in perspective:

Center of the sun: 27 million degrees F
Center of the earth: 5,000 to 10,000 degrees F
A lit human fart: Up to 1,600 degrees F
A snake’s ass in a wagon rut: 95-100 degrees F
A witch’s tit in a brass bra: Below 10 degrees F

Of note, the Haybag once claimed that farts could not be lit aflame (I can’t remember how it came up). I assured her that it was possible, and that I was in fact a member of the “Blue Flame Club”. Unconvinced, I had no choice but to successfully demonstrate this feat to the her. It was our third date.

See. I told you! Who looks stupid now?!

Likewise, much like quark soup and farts on a third date, Avery IPA is better at higher temperatures. Although, perhaps to a lesser degree.

Avery, not content with the 3 Cs, added a fourth C to load-up this IPA with Columbus, Chinook, Cascade, and Centennial. It pours a slightly hazy gold, almost orange, with a thick, IPA-esque head that hangs around and leaves behind plenty of friendly lace reminders of your time together. The first smell is of light citrus (mainly grapefruit), pine, and a distant malt. As it warms, a little added floral character moves in, and an almost honey-like maltiness comes out to play. At first, the taste follows the nose. Then as it warms, a sweeter malt character emerges, which plays off the hops nicely and creates an almost tropical flavor. It finishes generally dry with a clean bitterness. And it is smooth, with a good level of carbonation.

This is a lunchpail IPA. It’s not going to knock your socks off with huge hop flavor, but it’s balanced and gets the job done. It’s kind of like the Mario Mendoza of IPAs.

The Haybag: Of course it’s good. I picked it out.


13 thoughts on “Avery India Pale Ale: Quark soup, the Blue Flame Club, and Mario Mendoza

      • I went to the Stone Anniversary Brewfest last year in San Diego, I spent half of my tokens in the VIP tent just drinking Avery Meretrix. AMAZING sour.

      • Their only barrel aged stuff I have come across is Rumpkin. It does look like they have put out some impressive sours. Although, I guess I have sort of had an Avery sour: Lost Abbey’s Isabelle Proximus. The other day I just remembered that I had that at Lupulin Reunion ’08…That night is a little hazy, but I think Lost Abbey, Avery, Russian River, Allagash, and DFH all collaborated on that.

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