Maui Brewing Company La Perouse White: A revised history of beer, Spam, and Captain Cook

Next up, La Perouse White from Maui Brewing Company:

A couple yeast floaters…

Hawaii is not, at least in my mind, known for its beer. I think it’s more known for umbrella’d coconut drinks, surfing, pineapples, being the place of Captain Cook’s untimely demise, and its unhealthy obsession with Spam.

Although the fine folks at Hormel didn’t introduce spam until 1937, historians speculate that Hawaii’s love affair with salty, pre-cooked meat products began as far back as Captain Cook’s first arrival back in the late 1770s. Upon Cook’s arrival to Hawaii, the natives suspected it was the foretold return of the god Lono: The god of fertility and meat products with an indefinite shelf life.

Whoa, big fella’. Got a permit for that thing?

Now, Captain Cook surely had non-perishable, canned, precooked pork on board. Duh. How else would they have enough food to galavant about the Pacific? And upon sharing the crew’s tasty, potted-meat treat, the native Hawaiians were convinced Cook was Lono. Great partying, lopsided bartering, and promiscuity ensued.

After Cook left, he had to return unexpectedly due to a broken mast. The Hawaiians were not as jubilant this time around. This was perhaps due to the numerous paternity suits and itchy and burny gifts-that-keep-giving that Cook and his men left behind. However, recent historians have attributed it to Cook’s depleted Spam inventory. Convinced Cook was not Lono, and rabid for Spam like an island of desperate meth addicts, they killed Cook and several of his men.

To this day, on average, Hawaiians consume about six cans of Spam per year. That’s about five more cans than I’ve had in my lifetime.

It pours a hazy gold, with a 1-1.5 inch head that recedes and leaves you a little self-conscious (was it me?). Although, the head does get refreshed a bit with the sloshing of my hefe glass. It smells like coriander, orange, and very light bananas, cloves, and lemon peel. It tastes like a celiac’s 8th circle of hell. And although the components of the smell are more subdued in the taste, they’re there. This beer is crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish; and the lemon isn’t all attention whoring it up in your personal space like a lot of Wits. It occasionally hints at some sweetness and creaminess, but thankfully it ultimately keeps it clean, crisp, and dryish. Which is nice, because lately it’s been hotter than two rats making love in a wool sock.

As a bonus, it kind of looks like a Fresca can. So, it’s easy to drink openly at a pool that doesn’t allow booze.

The Haybag: It’s a great summer beer. And I think the pool should kick out any man drinking Fresca.


13 thoughts on “Maui Brewing Company La Perouse White: A revised history of beer, Spam, and Captain Cook

    • Nice. But beerbecue’s stance on beer cocktails is well-documented. 🙂

      And thanks. We like to keep our history light, but totally accurate, around here.

      • Ahh, Berliner Weiss. The OG beer cocktail.

        Off the record, I am sure beer cocktails are tasty. However, I have an image to maintain. Well, I don’t really…but I like to pretend I do.

  1. Ha this seems like mostly about spam and a little bit on the beer. I haven’t had a whole lot from Maui beer company, but I’ve liked the few things I have had. I haven’t seen this one around yet, but I probably just haven’t noticed it yet. I like to keep a six pack of something around, so I might go with this one. Good Review

    • I tend to do that sometimes. I am not as good as dontdrinkbeer at lacing the review with humor. Thus, my tangents. Plus, it’s SPAM. It’s an irresistible topic.

      BTW, I picked this up at Arrowine in Arlington. I am not sure if Rick’s has it or not.

  2. I’m a big fan of Maui Brewing. Their beers are all pretty solid. Admittedly, I’m a little jealous I can’t have one. Great Post!

  3. Ok wait a second…where did that UCSB glass come from? Did you pilfer it from my alumni collection?

    I heard some good things about the Maui guys, but have been unwilling to pay the price at the local pump for their goods.

    • I had a couple of friends who went there (I graduated from high school in CA). And I hear ya. The 6-pack was like $13. That’s not bad. It’s not great, though. That’s the only thing that will keep a never ending stream of this around the whole summer.

  4. “It pours a hazy gold, with a 1-1.5 inch head that recedes and leaves you a little self-conscious (was it me?). ” I hadn’t realized you’d actually switched to the beer for a few seconds as this pretty much sums up my last experience with spam.

    On a completely different note, a friend gave me a link to her friend’s beer blog the other day and what did I see? A beerbecue koozie wrapped around a Deviant Dale’s! Product placement at its finest.

    • Yeah, I noticed that after I published it, but unlike my psychotic after-the-fact typo fixes, I decided not to put in a transition.

      That’s awesome you saw the coozie. Mark won it when I ran that contest a couple months ago. He was a good sport and pimped it in his review.

  5. Admittedly I’m a Hawaii fan, so was automatically interested in what you’d have to say. Been to the place where Captain Cook was not welcomed back. Gotta love the STD placement and subsequent outraged islanders. In the past few months I ate at the Flyin’ Hawaiin Restaurant here in town, which proudly serves a Hawaiian Club — Turkey, Bacon, and Spam. Sadly, I enjoyed the Spam.

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