Beerbecue Daycare: An introduction

This week, daughter 2.0’s daycare is closed. One downfall of in-home daycare is that you have to let the caretaker take a break a couple times a year to regain their sanity and, presumably, drink themselves into oblivion. This means the Haybag and I usually split taking-off work for childcare duties. This go around, however, it’s during Congress’ 4th of July recess, so I am taking-off the week for…wait for it…Beerbecue Daycare.socket

I will be blogging and tweeting over the course of the week, while I try to incorporate as much beer into childcare as is possible (and responsible…or at least legal). When I pitched this idea to the editorial board, it was not met with the requisite enthusiasm I would expect for such an inspiring endeavor. In fact, it generated a number of questions from the Haybag…HAQ’s, if you will:

How are you going to incorporate beer into taking care of our 4-month-old daughter?
I haven’t figured that out quite yet. As with parenting, I’m flying by the seat of my pants. My week’s goal is to infiltrate one of those stay-at-home mom happy hours that I see pics of on Facebook all the time. It seems the key to gaining their trust will be to order a cosmo. Oh, and hopefully I’ll get a jump on any interesting drafts that come out this week.

Don’t you think infiltrating a mom group is a little sketchy?
Objection. Calls for a conclusion.

Why do you want to infiltrate a mom group?
Purely informational. I want some juicy, gossipy dirt. Plus, I think it would be fun to introduce our Daycare Plague Rat to some stay at home kids. I would be doing them an immunological favor…in the long-term.

Why don’t you infiltrate a stay at home dad group?
Dude gossip isn’t nearly as good. Chicks are way more interesting. Besides, I checked and they only have lame-ass coffee meet-ups. Their group’s acronym is SAHD…which just about sums it up.

You’re a total sexist.
Objection. Argumentative.

Why are you letting Clara eat the remote?
She looked curious about it, I was just letting her…Oh God! Take that our of your mouth, you slobbery baby. That’s nasty. Here. I think she pooped, too. Would you mind changing her?

This is going work out great.
Objection, your honor. Counsel is badgering the witness.

So, notwithstanding the Haybag’s skepticism, I think this is going to work out famously. Stay tuned for posts and tweets (@beerbecue7).


18 thoughts on “Beerbecue Daycare: An introduction

  1. So, just like Mr. Mom, right? Card games with coupons and the like? Also, I like that the Haybag is both prosecutor and judge in this scenario. Seems right to me.

  2. Agreed on dude gossip. The morning after a late night drinking session with the boys, Mrs. G-LO always asks what we talked about. My stock answer: “I have no idea!”.

      • Ha! I guess we boys really do have a universal language. While none of what we say is particularly mind blowing, it’s usually quite funny and infinitely more entertaining than any of the stories that I’ve overheard when Mrs. G-LO has hosted Ladies Night at our house. Although the Kindle Smut reading that I once overheard was somewhat entertaining…

  3. Pingback: MR | Second Edition, July 2013 | Drunken Speculation

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