This week, daughter 2.0’s daycare is closed. One downfall of in-home daycare is that you have to let the caretaker take a break a couple times a year to regain their sanity and, presumably, drink themselves into oblivion. This means the Haybag and I usually split taking-off work for childcare duties. This go around, however, it’s during Congress’ 4th of July recess, so I am taking-off the week for…wait for it…Beerbecue Daycare.
I will be blogging and tweeting over the course of the week, while I try to incorporate as much beer into childcare as is possible (and responsible…or at least legal). When I pitched this idea to the editorial board, it was not met with the requisite enthusiasm I would expect for such an inspiring endeavor. In fact, it generated a number of questions from the Haybag…HAQ’s, if you will:
How are you going to incorporate beer into taking care of our 4-month-old daughter?
I haven’t figured that out quite yet. As with parenting, I’m flying by the seat of my pants. My week’s goal is to infiltrate one of those stay-at-home mom happy hours that I see pics of on Facebook all the time. It seems the key to gaining their trust will be to order a cosmo. Oh, and hopefully I’ll get a jump on any interesting drafts that come out this week.
Don’t you think infiltrating a mom group is a little sketchy?
Objection. Calls for a conclusion.
Why do you want to infiltrate a mom group?
Purely informational. I want some juicy, gossipy dirt. Plus, I think it would be fun to introduce our Daycare Plague Rat to some stay at home kids. I would be doing them an immunological favor…in the long-term.
Why don’t you infiltrate a stay at home dad group?
Dude gossip isn’t nearly as good. Chicks are way more interesting. Besides, I checked and they only have lame-ass coffee meet-ups. Their group’s acronym is SAHD…which just about sums it up.
You’re a total sexist.
Why are you letting Clara eat the remote?
She looked curious about it, I was just letting her…Oh God! Take that our of your mouth, you slobbery baby. That’s nasty. Here. I think she pooped, too. Would you mind changing her?
This is going work out great.
Objection, your honor. Counsel is badgering the witness.
So, notwithstanding the Haybag’s skepticism, I think this is going to work out famously. Stay tuned for posts and tweets (@beerbecue7).