What do you get when you have a friend who (1) won’t fly, (2) likes road trips, and (3) offers to pick up a couple beers on his next voyage in exchange for taking care of his cat and houseplants? Well, apparently if you badger him enough and give him a long enough list (and his wife is a good sport), you get 20 different beers from six different States.
At first, I thought there was a 50% chance the cooler would be full of Miller Lites (a staple for the beer mule) purchased from each State on his list. I wouldn’t put it past him. Jerk. Although, as he sent in updates from the road, my worry transitioned to him drinking all the beer. Case in point, the evening after he picked up two six-packs from Three Floyds, the following text exchange occurred:
After some anxiety, I suddenly realized that I had the upper hand:
The new concern: My cooler full of beers (although at this point not technically mine) had to survive each pit stop and hotel room stay along a 16-day, 7,034 mile road-trip (including an especially dangerous stopover at an annual chili cook-off with some old friends…who presumably also drink). In fact, as he was unloading them, he pulled out a particularly sought-after beer and remarked, “Phew, I totally thought there was like a 60% chance I mistakenly drank this last night.” Ahhhhhhh!
So, without further adieu, here is the lineup that is now packing the fridge (with a * for first-time beers):
Three Floyds: Alpha King*; Zombie Dust*
Snake River Brewing: Pako’s IPA; Zonker Stout
Sound Brewing Co.: Humulo Nimbus Double IPA; Monk’s Indiscretion*
Hair of the Dog: Fred*; Adam*, Bourbon Fred* (this is the one my mule thought he drank)
Upright: Flora Rustica*
Deschutes: Mirror Pond; Black Butte Porter; Obsidian Stout
Russian River: Pliny the Elder; Supplication*; Temptation*
Alesmith: Speedway Stout*; IPA*
Lost Abbey: Deliverance*
And last, but not least, he brought back a sweet, stainless steel growler of Haybag Hefeweizen* from my friend’s new brewery in Philipsburg, Montana: Philipsburg Brewing Company.
The Haybag: Awesome. This should keep the bank account safe from beer runs for about two weeks…maybe. Now, where’s my Pliny?