Ithaca Beer Co. Flower Power IPA: Mario, Donkey Kong, and Smelly Hippies

Next up, Ithaca Beer Company’s Flower Power IPA:flower

When I hear Flower Power, I only imagine dirty, smelly hippies. All the beer store cashier could talk about, though, was Super Mario and flower power-ups. And I have to admit, nothing chafes my hide more than misplaced love for Mario. No video game character is more beloved, yet more deserving of our outrage than that fascist-mustachioed, overall-wearing, mushroom-tripping prick.

Just sayin'.

And I’m just throwin’ it out there…terrorist.

Even the Haybag, who thinks video games are a monumental waste of time, played Super Mario. But everybody seems to forget that Mario first busted on to the scene as the hero in Donkey Kong. Fair enough. What’s so bad about a working-man rescuing his haybag from the hairy mitts of a filthy, barrel-tossing ape? Well, everybody conveniently forgets the game’s backstory.

It's OK, big fella.

It’s OK, big fella. We’ll tell them.

That filthy ape is actually Mario’s pet. Now, before passing judgment, let’s set aside the improbability and questionable moral underpinnings of owning an ape as a pet. What we can’t look past, however, is the reason Donkey Kong snapped: Mario abused his monkey…and not in the euphemistic sense, either.

flounder

While the particular type of mistreatment is unclear, several sources indicate that Mario forced Donkey Kong to perform in the circus by balancing on barrels, while juggling pineapples and avoiding flaming torches. That’s some serious Michael Vick shit right there. No wonder the ape is pissed.

The beer pours as pictured above, without the pansies. It’s got a nice, white, fluffy head. It doesn’t leave much lace, but I ain’t gonna hate for that. It smells like peaches, pineapple, and citrus, with some floral in the backseat. The taste is orange and grapefruit with a kiss of honey. It finishes nice with a pleasant bitterness and a slight, lingering resin that hopheads will dig. It’s kind of like crossing Hopslam with Two Hearted; but less sweet and heavy than the Hopslam, less floral than the Two Hearted, and a little more resinous on the finish. I likey.

The Haybag: It’s fine, but get this post away from me. That Ron Jeremy terrorist guy’s picture totally creeps me out.

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10 thoughts on “Ithaca Beer Co. Flower Power IPA: Mario, Donkey Kong, and Smelly Hippies

  1. A hippy came to my beer club once and was super excited to try this, but hated it because she didn’t like IPAs and didn’t realize that this would be bitter (or whatever). Pretty funny. To me, it’s a great go-to IPA…

    Also, I had no idea about Mario’s sordid past. Very enlightening.

      • I think she was disgusted beyond the capacity for speech, relying on making bitter facial expressions and pushing the beer away. Or something like that.

  2. It’s important to also remember that Mario and Luigi are acid junkies who trip balls 24/7. After the whole monkey abuse thing, they built a fantasy world where a giant snapping turtle/dragon stole their “princess,” and they can only save her with the help of an oddly amiable velociraptor and a tiny man who grows a mushroom cap on his head instead of hair. Bonus points: They enter this world through the toilet.

    • It’s messed up. The princess has been “kidnapped” so many times, I’m starting to question whether or not her and Bowser have something going on.

  3. “It’s kind of like crossing Hopslam with Two Hearted; but less sweet and heavy than the Hopslam, less floral than the Two Hearted”

    If I knew there would be math I’d never have taken this class. As for animal abusive Italians – now I wish I had all my quarters back.

  4. After spending months with Mr. Toffee, Odus the Owl, and Tiffi, I should be less creeped out by that pic of Mario, but that is some nasty shit, and I have to drive away these weird associations from the important part, the BEER, which sounds fine despite its flirtation with fruit. It reminds me that we have NO BEER IN THE HOUSE.

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