Top 3 Reasons the Haybag Thinks Green Flash Road Warrior IPA is a Patrick Swayze Tribute Beer

Next up, Green Flash Road Warrior Rye IPA.

road warriorThe Haybag can be best described as Patrick Swayze Crazy, and she considers Dirty Dancing to be his Magnum Opus. This affects me, too, unfortunately. For I have “had the time of my life” more than any other man. I have seen the director’s cut, the director’s commentary version, and VH1 pop-up version. When I hear the album, I know which song goes with which scene. And the other day after unflinchingly answering a trivia question about the movie’s “I carried a watermelon” line, I had executed 2.5 fist pumps before I realized my male co-workers were all blankly staring at me in disgust.

disappointed turtleNow the Haybag is convinced that Green Flash Road Warrior is a posthumous tribute to Patrick Swayze. I tried to convince her to write about it, but she thinks blogging is a supreme waste of time. So, a summary of her thesis on the matter is all you Haybag fanboys are going to get. So, I give you the top three reasons the Haybag thinks Green Flash Road Warrior IPA is a Patrick Swayze Tribute Beer:

1. “The rye of your life” line on the label.
Any reference to “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” requires little explanation. Who could forget the forward-thinking prescience of Baby and Johnny? They shook things up at the Summer of ’63 Kellerman’s Final Dance by dancing to a ditty with an 80s synth bass line that would have been sung by a then 16-year-old Jennifer Warnes and an as-yet undiscovered, college-attending Righteous Brother.

seems legit2. Road Warrior is clearly a reference to Roadhouse. 
Roadhouse is a movie so manly that men use it to justify sitting through other Patrick Swayze movies. But who could argue with its allegory. Patrick Swayze confronts a force of evil strong enough to defeat Sam Elliott’s mustache…a mustache so glorious, its defeat clearly represents a redemptive Christ-like martyrdom, which ultimately fuels Patrick Swayze’s triumph over evil. Quite simply, it’s one of the finest American films ever made.

roadhouse3. The beer’s dark amber that hints of red is clear nod to Red Dawn.
Of course, Red Dawn includes Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey battling invading Soviets in 1980s rural Colorado. This essentially makes it a sequel to Dirty Dancing, except Baby and Johnny are operating under their noms de guerre, Toni and Jed. The movie has rightly been called “a Republican wet dream manifested into a surrealistic Orwellian nightmare”. But quite frankly, Red Dawn taps into the deeply held belief of all American men: Given access to a decent sporting goods store, we can surmount any obstacle…including mounting a relatively successful armed resistance behind enemy lines against the world’s second largest military.

red-dawn

As for the beer, Road Warrior is a beast. It’s big and malty with a spicy rye kick, yet still chock-full of juicy citrus and resiny hop character. Unfortunately, it’s near the end of its release window (available May-August); but if you like big hoppy beers and the union of rye and hops, this is a must have.

Me: Yes, dear.

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3 thoughts on “Top 3 Reasons the Haybag Thinks Green Flash Road Warrior IPA is a Patrick Swayze Tribute Beer

    • Hot and bothered indeed. But did you know that it was so late in the season when they filmed, the water was so cold that no close ups were allowed because Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey’s lips were blue. I learned that from the director’s commentary version I watched with a convalescing Haybag.

      I disgust myself.

  1. Ah Swayze. He Sex-danced with Jennifer Grey, put Kelly Lynch up against a wall, and made a clay pot with Demi Moore. And with each action, all the rest of the men in the world diminished just a tad bit in the eyes of all women. I’m sure he did something in Red Dawn to reduce our worth as well, but I haven’t seen the movie in ages.

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