Next up, Soft DK from Evil Twin:
So, apparently Jeppe, the gypsy brewer behind Evil Twin Brewing, is the twin brother of Mikkel, the gypsy brewer behind Mikkeller. Jeppe must be the smart ass of the two, because he has a certain panache for cheekily-named beers (see: Monk Suffers Serious Sugar Rash on Barbados, Nurse Pepper, Wet Dream, Cherry Pop…)
“Soft DK” is the American alias for the original, “Soft Dookie”. The idea for the beer came to Jeppe, as with all great ideas, while changing his baby’s diaper. Now, for all you non-breeders out there: Generally, pre-solid-food baby poop does not smell all that bad. In fact, I think it smells like buttered popcorn. Jeppe thinks it smells like vanilla.
When I thought it smelled like buttered popcorn, I was so fascinated that I made one of my friends come over, and I badgered him until he agreed to smell it. He reluctantly confirmed my conclusion. Conversely, Jeppe decided to make a beer in the poop’s honor. I will let you decide who is weirder.
I don’t usually transition into the beer review (abruptness amuses me), but it might be appropriate in this case…I AM NOW TALKING ABOUT BEER, NOT POOP. I REPEAT I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT BABY POOP. It pours 15W40 thick with a big, dense, creamy, tan head that hangs around long enough for oodles of “Got Stout?” headshots. It’s as dark as the heart of the bastard who decided to stop putting toys in cereal boxes. I am sure it is actually brown, but it looks black. As black as the heart of the bastard who decided to stop putting toys in cereal boxes (God, I hate that guy). It smells almost like a milk stout: Cream, vanilla, and roast. And with the addition of its significant booziness, you can tell it’s gonna get all big, hot, sweet, and sticky up in here.
And it is. Vanilla, molasses, roast, coffee, cream, and My Pretty Pony sweetness. Also, there is a distinct piney and citrusy hop character that comes out to play in the taste. There is also a little bitterness in the finish, but it is so damn sweet, I can’t tell if it’s roast or hop. As it warms, mixed berries emerge. And it’s not the nice mixed berries. It’s the wandering band of abusive, cough-syrup mixed berries that loiter about after school…all up to no good. Lastly, it is pretty well carbonated, but no amount of carbonation can save you from its wrath.
Ultimately, at $15 for a 500 mL bottle, this beer is a little like a Randy Travis bender: A funny concept that starts out pretty cool; but it’s ultimately a costly, boozy, and abusive mess. And at 10%+ ABV, you too could end up standing tall in your birthday suit asking a convenience store clerk for a pack of smokes.
The Haybag: You’re crazy. Baby poop smells gross. And although the beer is a little much, I liked it OK. Jeppe, you nasty.