A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ – Let’s get Swayze Crazy

Next up, Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ from Lagunitas:

little sumpin

Lagunitas departs from their standard labeling convention (words-only, a big censor bar over naughty words, or a barn in disrepair) and goes with some retro pin-up art. It harkens back to US military nose cone artwork before it was banned in 1993. With women flying combat missions, it seemed the right choice; especially considering an equitable alternative: A scantily-clad Channing Tatum reclining seductively on the fuselage of a female-commanded plane. Fortunately, all nose cone artwork in the US military must now be gender neutral.

But it’s part of our history. And sure, we see all the classic nose cone artwork from WWII planes: Memphis Belle, Lucky Lady… But lost to history are the regrettable choices. Unfortunately, they’re hidden from view or painted over, like the tramp stamp of the aviation community. But they, too, tell a historically significant tale. For example, not well known is that the Enola Gay was not always so blandly adorned:

swayze nose art

Nobody puts Little Boy in the corner.

And much like tattoos, some nose art is a bad idea to begin with. However, it grows even more unfortunate as the wanton cruelty of old-age has its way. Classic warping and sagging is depicted in this B25.

What were you thinking?!

What were you thinking?!

Of course, there are also the unfortunate miscommunications…

You idiot. I said paint some hot NOSE cone artwork!

“You idiot. I said paint me some ‘hot NOSE cone artwork’!”

Lagunitas describes A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ as a pale wheat ale. It’s brewed with 50 percent wheat, but it’s hopped like an IPA (the dry-hop includes Cascade, Centennial, Simcoe, Chinook, Amarillo, and Columbus).

It pours clear gold, with a big, white fluffy head that leaves lace strewn about like a high-speed doily delivery truck accident. First smell is like apricots and peaches, then citrus, then dank hop oil and resin, and later a floral quality. A little something for all the hopheads. The taste is citrusy and resiny with a grainy wheat sweetness peeking in (contrast with the usual malty, biscuit, or caramel backbone in a non-wheat pale ale or IPA). It finishes not as bitter as one would think with its hopping schedule and 64 IBUs. Actually, had they made it really bitter, it would probably defeat the purpose of all that wheat. As it stands, though, the hop aroma and flavor and wheat dominated malt bill combine to make a pretty smooth beer.

The Haybag: Why the the hell is Patrick Swayze’s torso on a horse? I don’t get it. And don’t you think it’s a little tacky to make jokes about the recently-deceased. You owe me and Swayze. Pour me some Sumpin’ Sumpin’ and put on Dirty Dancing.

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NCAA First Round Beer Madness

I am blowing off work today to eat BBQ, drink beer, and watch the first round of the NCAA Tournament with dangermenparenting. He, quite nobly, actually worked a half-day. But, at the Haybag’s request, I steam-cleaned our rugs. That’s what I call banking some marital equity; and that means dangermenparenting is starting out underwater, and I’m starting off with some equity to burn.

I updated this post periodically through the day, uncut and uncensored. You can read Tony’s at dangermenparenting here.

1:15: We met up at Pork Barrel BBQ in Del Ray. I was late because of a motorcade…or the cop was just being a dick and not letting me on 395. The BBQ was OK. Had pulled pork and brisket. Even at the edges, the crust and smoke ring were only mildly tasty. Overall pretty dull tasting. The sauce is tasty, though. And the sides pretty dang good. Nowhere near my favorite South Carolina place, and my BBQ is way better; but these guys have to crank out some serious amounts of meat. So I can understand. Had a Miller High Life. Don’t judge.

1:30: Scoring system is set. Since we are going to have mismatches, the standard is: What percentage of time would you have Beer A vs. Beer B?

2:15:  The brackets are set:
EAST: Tröegs Nugget Nectar vs. Southern Tier 2 X Stout.

SOUTH: Port City Porter vs. Abita Save Our Shores Pilsner

WEST: UINTA Hop Notch IPA vs. Lagunitas Cappucino Stout

NORTH: Sixpoint Bengali Tiger vs. Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald

You might find these match-ups odd. We didn’t coordinate ahead of time ( only that we needed one from each region). This is what would happen in the first round if i was involved with setting the NCAA Tournament brackets: Montana vs. Long Beach State, Kentucky v UNC, and ND playing an intrasquad scrimmage (which I have a feeling is the only way my Irish would get to the second round).

2:30: East:

Nugget Nectar- It should be clear by now how I feel about Nugget Nectar. It’s awesome (despite the whole communist mind-control thing it’s got going on).

2XStout – It’s as dark as blaxpoitation flick, but not super oily. It smells like double chocolate milk. Not nearly as sweet as I thought it would be. In the taste, chocolate is there, but a surprising amount of coffee comes out to play. I am picking up some smokey chicory thing, too, and some nice hop character, too. I was expecting this to be a blowout, but I am going to have a tough time scoring this one.

Scores: Tröegs 52, Southern Tier 48, in OT. Tony had Southern Tier winning 57-43. Average has Southern Tier winning 52.5 – 47.5. Sorry Troegs…I still heart you. Perhaps it was that I had not had a good stout in awhile. I felt like Troegs could have gone deep but for its first round draw, and Tony being wrong. 🙂

2:53: South Matchup:

Abita donates 75 cents on every bottle to help save the environment. Hippies. 5 point deduction. Pours about like a mid-morning piss (you’ve had your coffee already, but not enough H2O), with way more head than a piss should have, regardless of the time of day. Tastes way better than I thought it would (not shocking, considering my first impression). It is fairly sweet for a pilsner. You can taste some floral and spicey hops, and it has a heftier mouthfeel than your usual pilsner. Had I bought this to purchase on a 102F day, I would be a little pissed because it isn’t exactly the most refreshing pilsner I have ever had.

Port City – My thoughts on Port City’s Porter are well-documented. It rocks. Not too sweet, not too dry. Subtle. Chocolate, light notes of coffee, creamy, and a light kiss of hops. One of my favorite porters.

Score: Port City Porter 75, Abita Pilsner 25. After Abita’s 5 point hippie deduction: Port City 80, Abita 20. Tony had Port City winning 78-22. Average: 79-21

3:18: West matchup:

Uinta Hop Notch IPA – I expected great things from this. I had heard someone call this the Pliny killer (Pliny the Elder), which seemed little dubious. This is very smooth, somewhat creamy. I think I am picking up citrus and some tropical fruits, and a slightly piney bitter finish. It is a solid IPA, but it is no hop-lover’s delight.

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout – Pours much lighter than I thought it would. It’s almost like a dark Brown Ale, with red highlights. It smells nice: a pleasant coffee, with hints of chocolate. Tastes sweet and bitter with a funny sour aftertaste. I can’t tell if the bitterness is from the hops (about 30 IBUs) or the coffee. I think it must be the coffee. This is my least favorite Lagunitas beer (and Lagunitas is one of my favorite breweries). I am having a hard time figuring out when I would get this again. Perhaps if I found myself north of the Arctic Circle, delirious, unsure whether it was 9pm or 8am, all I had was beer, and I needed a little pick-me-up combined with a little coping mechanism for being north of the Arctic Circle. It could happen…

Score: Uinta 90, Lagunitas10. Lagunitas gets +10 for being one of my favorite breweries. 80-20. Tony had Uinta winning 66-34. Average had Uinta winning 78-22. I think Tony is an Anti-IPA-ite.

3:49: North Matchup:

Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald Porter: This is new to the DC-area. I have heard great things about this beer, particularly from Ohio-based beer blogger behindthebrews. It’s dark, dark, dark brown, with amber highlights. Sturdy 1-inch head. Light coffee and bittersweet chocolate smell. Same with the taste, with maybe an addition of toasted malt and smokiness. This is an extremely drinkable porter. It doesn’t blow me away, but it is tasty and I could throw down many.

Six Point: Dull gold. Nice-looking, rocky-type IPA head. Looks pretty. Don’t smell much…some distant hops in the nose. The can claims: citrus, pine, and resin. I taste grassiness up front and citrusy-pine in the finish. It has a bitter aftertaste that isn’t worth the flavor down-payment. Therefore, this beer does not make it through my underwriting department. This is my second Six Point, and I was disappointed in both. I have seen a bit of hype around Six Point. Meh.

Score: Great Lakes 55, Six Point 45. Tony wants even numbers now, so I gave Great Lakes +1 point because they are from Cleveland, and they have a beer named after the time the Cuyahoga River caught on fire. So, 56-44. Tony had Great Lakes winning 86-14. Great Lakes won the average: 71-29

4:30: I haven’t paid much attention to the basketball thus far. I know Montana is getting their asses handed to them, and Syracuse is about to bust everyone’s bracket. I do know that the tournament would be better if they got to pick special tournament names, ND bookstore basketball tournament style…with no censors. Then the world would not be deprived of glorious names such as: Kentucky Harry Ballsagna, UNC Hung Dong Millionaires, Marquette Sofa King Awesome, UNLV How I Met Your Mother, Gonzaga Would You Please Stop the Bus and Let My Brother Jack Off.

Check back for the semi-final match-ups: Uinta vs Port City and Great Lakes vs Southern Tier.

Beer Review: Lagunitas Sucks Holiday Ale (Brown Shugga’ Substitute)

Next up, Lagunitas Sucks Holiday Ale (Brown Shugga’ Substitute).

Where's my Brown Shugga', you bastards!

This time of year we usually get Lagunitas Brown Shugga’, which actually started as a botched batch of Lagunitas’ Olde GnarleyWine. In an attempt to rescue the GnarleyWine, they dumped in a shyte-load of brown sugar. That didn’t work, so they released it as Brown Shugga’. It ended up so popular that Lagunitas now makes it every year.

However, this year they did not have the brewing capacity to make it. So you get what we have here. Ugh. Between this and their infamous pot bust, it sounds like they run a real tight ship at Lagunitas.*

Bring up that heavy thing, and hoist the big white triangle deal, Bro.

It pours a clear, straw color, with a lovely bubble bath looking head. As with most Lagunitas beers, you can’t swing a cat without hitting hops up in here. It has a real hefty citrusy smell and taste, with slight pine.  But it isn’t so abusive that your tongue feels like Carlo Rizzi after a Sonny Corleone garbage can lid beat-down.

Apparently they used barley, rye, wheat, and oats, which probably helps balance this hoppy bastard.  And it has just the right amount of sweetness. Unfortunately, the only thing holiday about this beer is the roadkill Santa on the label (or maybe it’s a Santa cookie…who knows).  But it is a pleasant hop bomb. So, I say get some before it runs out.

The Haybag: I miss Brown Shugga’, but I really like this beer. Lagunitas definitely does not suck. Although, I have a feeling your bubble bath reference is going to get you into “hot water” with Pretension Ombudsman.

*I give Lagunitas a hard time, but they are one of my favorite breweries. I have enjoyed about every beer I have ever had from them, and they are always reasonably-priced. Oh, and their Hop Stoopid is really hard to beat.

Beer Review: Lagunitas Bavarian-Styled Doppel Weizen

To make up for making fun of Germans in the post I wrote to make up for making fun of Germans, I shall now review another German-styled beer: Doppel Weizen. And it’s from the king of consistently affordable and good beers: Lagunitas.

Wann ist der nächste Überfall von Frankreich?

“Doppel weizen” is German for double wheat.  I guess that means what we got here is some sort of super-duty hefeweizen/weizenbock thing.  But this is Lagunitas, who seems to aggresssively hop everything. So, we’ll see what they do with a beer known for its lack of hop character.

First thing you notice is the smell of ripe banana with a hint of clove.  Promising, as this is true to the style.  As for the taste, it tastes like a perfectly ripe banana…without all the stress of grocery store banana selection and the hopes that at least one banana’s 30-second window of perfect ripeness will coincide with your desire to eat a banana.  Unfortunately, this simultaneous occurrence is more elusive than the Loch Ness Monster’s g-spot.

Poor Nessie.

There are also some cloves, maltiness, and a slight hint of alcohol. As it warms, it starts to get a little sweeter tasting, perhaps annoyingly so for some. And the hops come out, maybe indicating that some of the ripe, almost floral, quality of the banana was just hops in disguise. Lagunitas just couldn’t help themselves.

A good beer overall.  My only complaint is that it might have ended slightly too sweet.  I would get it again, though; and it did make me want to invade France, which is the hallmark of a good German-style beer.

The Haybag: Bananas!  I really like this beer.  Which reminds me, you need to eat that last banana before it goes bad.

Dammit! Late again. F&%$#@g bananas.