Maui Brewing Company La Perouse White: A revised history of beer, Spam, and Captain Cook

Next up, La Perouse White from Maui Brewing Company:

A couple yeast floaters…

Hawaii is not, at least in my mind, known for its beer. I think it’s more known for umbrella’d coconut drinks, surfing, pineapples, being the place of Captain Cook’s untimely demise, and its unhealthy obsession with Spam.

Although the fine folks at Hormel didn’t introduce spam until 1937, historians speculate that Hawaii’s love affair with salty, pre-cooked meat products began as far back as Captain Cook’s first arrival back in the late 1770s. Upon Cook’s arrival to Hawaii, the natives suspected it was the foretold return of the god Lono: The god of fertility and meat products with an indefinite shelf life.

Whoa, big fella’. Got a permit for that thing?

Now, Captain Cook surely had non-perishable, canned, precooked pork on board. Duh. How else would they have enough food to galavant about the Pacific? And upon sharing the crew’s tasty, potted-meat treat, the native Hawaiians were convinced Cook was Lono. Great partying, lopsided bartering, and promiscuity ensued.

After Cook left, he had to return unexpectedly due to a broken mast. The Hawaiians were not as jubilant this time around. This was perhaps due to the numerous paternity suits and itchy and burny gifts-that-keep-giving that Cook and his men left behind. However, recent historians have attributed it to Cook’s depleted Spam inventory. Convinced Cook was not Lono, and rabid for Spam like an island of desperate meth addicts, they killed Cook and several of his men.

To this day, on average, Hawaiians consume about six cans of Spam per year. That’s about five more cans than I’ve had in my lifetime.

It pours a hazy gold, with a 1-1.5 inch head that recedes and leaves you a little self-conscious (was it me?). Although, the head does get refreshed a bit with the sloshing of my hefe glass. It smells like coriander, orange, and very light bananas, cloves, and lemon peel. It tastes like a celiac’s 8th circle of hell. And although the components of the smell are more subdued in the taste, they’re there. This beer is crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish; and the lemon isn’t all attention whoring it up in your personal space like a lot of Wits. It occasionally hints at some sweetness and creaminess, but thankfully it ultimately keeps it clean, crisp, and dryish. Which is nice, because lately it’s been hotter than two rats making love in a wool sock.

As a bonus, it kind of looks like a Fresca can. So, it’s easy to drink openly at a pool that doesn’t allow booze.

The Haybag: It’s a great summer beer. And I think the pool should kick out any man drinking Fresca.