Beer Review: Terrapin Wake n Bake Coffee Oatmeal Stout

Next up, Terrapin Wake n Bake Coffee Oatmeal Stout:

A reference to making cookies in the morning, I guess.

The stink over Tenth & Blake (craft/import division of Miller/Coors) owning a minority share in Terrapin was renewed last week when it was revealed that Schlafly’s co-founders, as part of their retirement succession plan, were selling a 60 percent share to a local private equity firm, Sage Capital, LLC. This was met with widespread applause, because local is apparently awesome no matter what (even private equity firms), the plan included an opportunity for employees to buy some non-marketable shares in the company, and the sale was not to the Big Beer Boogeyman.

But I am a capitalist pig. So as long as your beer is tasty, I’m a fan. You know, as long as the beer isn’t made from the tears of orphans, or something…unless the orphans were crying already. What? Do you want orphan tears to go to waste!?

It's always OK to exploit ginger orphans. They have no soul.

This beer pours as dark as Cookie’s chuckwagon coffee left on the fire an hour too long. It has a quickly receding tan head. It smells like an espresso spiked with chocolate. At times, you can catch a whiff of dark chocolate milk or Kahlua. The taste is as advertised: coffee, bittersweet chocolate, and not too sweet at all. Also, the oatmeal gives a little creaminess to the mouthfeel, but it’s not all thick and whatnot like some big stouts.

I likey. And I don’t care who owns Terrapin. I would buy a bottle of this shyte from the damn ghost of Adolph Coors.

Fuck my parents right in the eye for naming me Adolph.

Now, tonight I get to taste Bell’s Black Note Stout. I hear it can cure cancer, world hunger, and gout.

Thank God! I can finally stop carrying around this comically large beaker full of green stuff.

The Haybag: It’s a little drier than I thought it would be, but that’s not a bad thing. My beer doesn’t need to taste like a Frappuccino.