Port City Revival Stout: The Walrus and the Carpenter

Next up, a review of Port City’s Revival Stout (made with oysters), set to “The Walrus and the Carpenter”.

Port City and War Shore Oyster Co.
Were walking close at hand.
“Let’s make an oyster stout,” they said,
Gazing ‘cross the sand.
Now we must go to find some oysters.
Surely this will be grand.

Like the Walrus and the Carpenter
They led valves to the wort.
Neatly queued in a tidy line
The mollusks did assert,
“Just cause we don’t have any nerves,
Don’t mean that we’re not hurt.”


Dark as night with a dense, tan head,
Two fingers at the most.
Choc’late ‘n coffee in my nose
But notably the roast.
Tastes the same with a min’ral twang,
Guess that’s an oyster’s ghost.

The finish: Dry, slight bitterness.
Guess that’s an oyster tear.
Though, perhaps it’s the roasted malt
And hops used in this beer.
Last, at 5 point 5 percent,
Your noodle will stay clear.

Port City and War Shore Co. proclaimed,
“Oysters come join the fun.”
“You need to try this tasty beer.”
But answer came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d guzzled every one.

Haybag: I don’t know this to be
A new high or new low.
Beer reviews in verse it seems…
Oh, screw it. I don’t know.
Try this drinkable, tasty brew.
Leave poems to Thoreau.